Midlife

What first pops into your mind when you hear the word “midlife?” Yep, CRISIS!

I love reading the New York Times in the bathtub on Sunday morning. Unfortunately, down here in Baja, I don’t get the paper version so I’m taking the risky bet of carrying my iPhone into the bath with me. Yikes!

One of our MEA alums and my neighbor in Galisteo, NM, Andrew, introduced me to the word “barmecidal,” which means giving only the illusion of plenty, but something or someone that is ultimately disappointing. The etymology comes from a story in “The Arabian Nights” when the prince Barmecide pretends to host a lavish feast for a beggar. The beggar plays along, pretending to enjoy the food and wine, but ultimately is disillusioned.

Recently, I was being filmed at my home in Galisteo, NM, near our new Ranch campus. It was a lovely late summer day, and I was talking about the “midlife chrysalis,” the subject of my upcoming TED talk, which will go live on November 13.

After pursuing a career in fashion design in my 20s and 30s, I had the good fortune to be able to return to study psychology and aging at university. Little did I know that I would soon stumble across the work of Becca Levy, a renowned Yale Professor and author of Breaking the Age Code (becca-levy.com/the-book/). I had the great honor of being mentored by Becca for part of my PhD project, visiting with her at Yale in 2012.

A deeply religious friend used to tell me, "When the day of reckoning arrives, we'll have to face some uncomfortable truths." I had never associated this idea with midlife, a life stage Brené Brown says we need to “unravel.” (https://bit.ly/3roPjO8)

The Atlantic’s recent article, The New Old Age (https://bit.ly/48fxLVd), marks a milestone for CoGenerate (formerly Encore.org), an indication of the uptake of ideas and language we’d been working to develop, implement and disseminate for more than a decade.

As we get older, classical music sneaks up on us. So, do naps, fine wine, and the appeal of organic vegetables and sunscreen. With age comes an appreciation for things we neglected when we were younger.

Writing has been my flashlight. It’s allowed me to be curious. It’s helped me to see my blind spots. It’s provided me with a salve for my wounds. It’s given me permission to feed my inner introvert (who is not all that obvious to you). I once wrote a post “Why I Write” that could have been retitled “Why I Breathe.”

Last year, I wrote a post profiling a white paper called “The Midlife Crisis” that came from the National Bureau of Economic Research. This paper hasn't gotten nearly enough attention in the mainstream press partly because—wow—is it ever a dense and challenging read. Fortunately, a picture tells a thousand stories, and the graphics below tell 500,000 stories of mid-lifers' challenges.