Change

A week ago, my TED talk (go.ted.com/chipconley23) about the Midlife Chrysalis got published suggesting that a caterpillar consumes, a chrysalis transforms, and a butterfly pollinates, mirroring our early adulthood, our midlife, and our modern elder years.

“We don’t let go of anything until we have exhausted all the possible ways that we might keep holding on to it.” - William Bridges

Recently, I was being filmed at my home in Galisteo, NM, near our new Ranch campus. It was a lovely late summer day, and I was talking about the “midlife chrysalis,” the subject of my upcoming TED talk, which will go live on November 13.

"Keep your options open."

You know that feeling when someone offers you a sentence that takes your breath away? I vividly recall the moment when my friend Ben called me a “social alchemist,” an expert mixologist of people. It stopped me cold in my tracks, offering me a whole new perspective on one of my unique gifts.

“I see so much more now,” said Arthur, a mid-fifties software engineer who participated in my research on the inevitable shifts that occur in our adult lives. What struck me about his statement was that Arthur had a degenerative eye condition that left him 100% sight impaired.

To be liminal is to be human. Whether we admit it or not, we are in a constant state of evolution and transition. Father Richard Rohr says it is a “graced” time, but it often doesn’t feel like grace because it may force us out of our comfort. The Latin word “limen” means “threshold,” which can be scary if we don’t know where this threshold leads.

On a recent hike, I overheard a friendly, light conversation. As it danced across a variety of topics, one conversant was the Learner—she was asking questions and reflecting on the other’s answers with interest and appreciation. The other was the Answerer.

I was fortunate enough to attend the TED conference last month and give a short talk on the main stage. However, the real joy was listening to some of the world’s most inspiring thought leaders, including cognitive scientist and podcaster Maya Shankar. Her podcast, “A Slight Change of Plans,” is dedicated to helping people build their TQ, transitional intelligence, given that we’re living through a time of remarkable change.

I’d heard about the Modern Elder Academy (MEA) for a few years. A wisdom school for midlife transitions? Sign me up. I’m a few years out from 50 and feeling a deep desire to make the second half of life one for the books.